This past year has been insane. The collective collaboration for the war effort and the hostages has been incredible. Yet I have not participated as I felt depleted with nothing to offer. I’m still in pain, still waiting for the lawsuit to be completed, still persevering with treatments, endeavoring to work and rebuild my business.
Today marks 5 years since I broke my dominant left shoulder and herniated a disc in my lower back at the Sukkot street fair on Derech Bet Lechem.
Reading past posts from the anniversary of the fall and I noticed that I have lost the positivity, the sense of purpose and the will to keep up appearances. It is easier to isolate and be silent. So different from what was the normal way of living my life. I don’t recognize myself.
Last week, I saw the advertisement of the street fair taking place again this Sunday. I was furious, anxious and fearful. It is hard to explain. Yet while I am doing the best I can, my nerves are shot, the anxiety is still present and my course of action this time is to leave the city. Take myself far away from the scene of the trauma. I am actually surprised by my reaction, I thought I was past it…apparently not.
1 year ago
4 years ago around this time I was attending a local annual street fair. Walking on the edge of the crowd an electrical cable got caught between my toes and my sandal and I went flying.
4 years of pain, endurance, many lessons of receiving and the journey of recovery.
4 years, 2 surgeries, 150 physiotherapy sessions, countless pain pills, sleepless nights, Covid and now war.
I’m so grateful for my group of friends and family and the medical professionals who received me and cared for me.
Please today, be patient and kind with yourselves. We all need it.
3 years ago
“It's two years today since my fall and introduction to the world of humerus fractures.
For all those who don't know, yes it's hard and challenging and painful and frustrating and uncomfortable.
Yes it does improve.
Today, for me, is a new day to choose how I am perceiving my world. I am shifting my mindset just a little, to move away from fear that has been holding me hostage. I am embracing all that is here and I'm grateful for the gifts of this ridiculous injury.
Be strong
Be well
Listen to your body
Be your own advocate for when necessary.
We are all champions fighting battles that can't be seen on the surface.”
Four years ago
"Here I am on the eve of my Breakaversary. Where has this year gone? Some days felt like they would never end. Others were battles of managing the pain meds so that I would sleep at night rather than during the day.
There were days of unexpected vulnerability, poor me parties, help from a community that volunteered to bring me meals, accompany me on walks, doctors appointments, clean my apartment, fold my laundry and change my bed linen.
There were days when the hairdresser washed and blow dried my hair for me so I would feel "human" again.
Days where the waiter at the local coffee shop cut my food for me so I could manage to eat with one hand, the other non dominant hand.
There were days of such grace and blessing that I was left speechless with gratitude.
And then today, I acknowledged that I am livid with myself for tripping over a black cable on a black road that I didn't see, that changed every aspect of my life over the last year and into the future.
I wasn't aware that I was holding that inside. That I've been blaming myself for something that could have been avoided had the people in charge paid a little more attention to their work.”
Be safe
Be well
Hug your loved ones
Aviva
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